Sound Like a Lamb, But Be a Lioness


How do I get people to listen to me without being a B? Not like command, just LISTEN. I have a soft voice so I think that has something to do with it. I get talked over a lot and it’s very annoying.


Hi J,

Thank you for contacting me. You didn’t mention whether you wanted people to listen to you in your romantic, personal, professional or social relationships so let’s cover all four. It’s perfectly okay to have a quiet voice. A quiet voice and being shy usually go hand in hand because they’re so closely linked. If you’re not shy, that’s okay, because this information will apply to you either way.

If it’s a romantic relationship, and you haven’t had an argument, then you’re involved with the wrong man.

If it’s a personal relationship then they aren’t your friends.

If it’s a professional relationship, connected to your job or your business, and they don’t listen it’s for one of two reasons: 1) They don’t feel or believe what you’re saying is important. 2) They’re ignoring you. If they’re ignoring you then why waste your time trying to communicate with them?

If it’s your social relationships then you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.

There could be many reasons or excuses people will give you as to why they don’t listen to you but the bottom line is they don’t believe what you are saying is important to them. Let me give you an example: If they were dying and you knew how to keep them alive I guarantee you could whisper and you would have their undivided attention. They would tell anyone who tried to interrupt to shut up and be quiet. So one question to ask yourself is: “Why do they consider what I’m saying to be unimportant?”

You can analyze it all you want and probably never know so let’s get to the real root of the problem and how to fix it.

The real root of the problem is for some reason you don’t believe you deserve to be listened to and treated with respect. This is all connected to your belief system and your self image.

So the first thing for you to do is realize the problem is connected to belief system and your self image, not them. Realizing that takes you out of “victim mode” and puts you back in control. And we both know: A woman’s place is in control. When you are back in control then you can do something constructive about it.

How, exactly, do you do that?

Or more precisely, how do you fix all four of those areas in your life [romantic, personal, professional and social] and how do you do it in a simple, effective, positive, healthy, constructive, stress free way?

I suggest you write out this sign and put it on your bedroom wall so it’s the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before you go to bed. This way it will sink into your subconscious mind effortlessly. It will change your self image and your belief system in a positive, healthy, constructive, stress free way. It’s simple and it’s very effective. I know it works because I’ve used this technique for years.

Here’s the sign:

“I only attract positive, healthy, constructive people into my life who like me, respect me and eagerly listen to everything I have to say.”

I would also like to suggest a book that had a profound effect on my life. It’s Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. It is a classic that is just as relevant today as it was when it was first written in 1960. I’ve read it many times and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Please remember: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Don’t let the good things in life rob you of the best things.

Bryan Redfield

Creator of

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