From Cuddle Bug to Cuddle Loner

Why doesn’t my boyfriend like to cuddle anymore?  We used to cuddle frequently but we have lived together for eight years now and he just never seems interested anymore.  Can I do something to make him want to cuddle me again?


Hi L,

There are three kinds of cuddling:

  1. After sex
  2. Cuddling as foreplay
  3. Non-sexual

A few questions for you: How much did you cuddle before? How much, if any, do you cuddle now?  If the two of you never have any non-sexual cuddling, then you’re nothing more than live-in friends with benefits. 

Do you ever get together just to hang out without sex? If you don’t, then everything you do before and after you spend time together is just the game he must play until he gets to have sex with you and he’s only playing the game to get laid.  It sounds to me like he has lost interest in you.  Why has he lost interest?  Can it be fixed?

The unfortunate answer is no.  While I can’t give you a concrete answer as to why he has lost interest in you without greater personal details, I can say that if he has no interest in cuddling in the way you say, he has lost interest in you as a partner and you are no longer (if you ever were) emotionally compatible.

I wish you the best of luck.  As a personal suggestion, my online course How To Get Him To Commit To You would likely be of help to you if you are willing to accept the truth of your situation and learn how you can fix it.


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