Girls vs. Women: Which is a man looking for?

Types of Girls…How can you tell? Some girls like to be treated like crap and they fall in love with you and others want you to suck up to them…I’m confused, bruised and tattooed.


Hi J,

My first question to you is why would you waste your time around a woman who treats you like garbage? And my second question is why would you waste your time around a woman who lets you treat her like garbage?

The obvious answer is because you want to have sex with them. I really can’t see a normal, healthy man allowing a woman to treat him poorly for any other reason. Nor can I see him wanting to be involved with a woman who allows herself (for whatever reason) to be treated poorly.

When you understand the basics of what these two groups of women want you’ll hopefully realize these two groups are a lost cause if you’re looking for a rewarding relationship. (And Ladies, please note: the gender is not the issue. This applies to women as much as it applies to men.)

So let’s examine both groups.

Let’s take the abusers first. All these women want is a guy they can abuse emotionally and financially. Sex is their weapon. And since you want it and they don’t, it puts them in complete control. They have no intention of having sex with you because sex isn’t what they want. With rare exception, they don’t even enjoy sex.

Leading a man to believe in the possibility of sex allows them to take out all of their hostilities toward men on some poor, helpless guy who thinks the way to score points with women is to be a “nice guy”, sacrificing all of his self respect for her abusive attention. And if you won’t let her abuse you, that’s okay, because there are lots of other guys who will.

She’s convinced all guys want the same thing. She dresses as much like a sex object as she can so she has a wide range of victims to choose from. She’s convinced all men are bastards of varying degrees and she’s going to use and abuse them before they use and abuse her. She doesn’t realize her attitude and lack of
communication skills guarantee all the good prospects will avoid her completely and the only guys she will attract are the ones who want sex, which is the exact opposite of what will make her happy.

You can’t win with a person like this because they don’t want a relationship, they want to get even. Until they’re ready to change there is nothing you can do. The key to dealing with them is to realize it’s false advertising, accept you’ll never get what you want and avoid them completely.

Now let’s look at the other side of the coin, the women who like to be abused. Again, what normal, healthy guy would want to get involved with a woman who needs to be abused on some level for anything more than short term sex?

If short term sex is your motivation, let me ask you this: If you can abuse them to get them into bed, what makes you think you’re the only one who’s doing that? So what you’re getting is someone else’s leftovers. With all the diseases out there is it really worth risking your life having sex with a woman like that?

The most intelligent way to deal with women who like to be abused is total avoidance. Once you realize a woman is an abuser or one who likes to be abused, just walk away from her. Plain and simple.

Your chances of a successful relationship are much better with women from the third group: Women who have a healthy self respect, like men, enjoy sex, know how to communicate, aren’t afraid to go after what they want, and are looking for a relationship.

If all you run into are the users, abusers and women who like to be used and abused I would seriously question the places you go to meet women. If you want to catch a fish, you have to go where the fish are. If you don’t want the bottom dwellers, go into deeper water where there is more variety.

And let’s be fair to the women. There are just as many men who like to abuse women, who think women are good for only one thing and who just want a night’s entertainment at a woman’s expense. There are
also just as many men who need or allow women to abuse them. If you want a good relationship these men can’t give you what you want. The only proven way to deal with both of these groups is total avoidance, too.

I teach my students that, when you have a healthy self respect, and have learned the secrets of good communication skills, it’s very easy to separate potential good prospects from the “users” and the
“damaged goods”. Finding a rewarding relationship is sometimes a numbers game. Once you realize a potential prospect can’t give you what you want, move on to someone else.

if you’d like to learn more and become truly proficient at finding and dating quality women, take a look at my course The Redfield System. It can really help you!

Good luck and God Bless.

Bryan Redfield

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