I am a 20 year old guy. I have known this girl for about 2 years and I am in love with her its the 1st time I have ever been in
love. When I first met her she was with my friend Chad. It was love at first sight. A week later she broke up with Chad.
Since then I have been trying to let her know my feelings indirectly. This went on for 2 years. And since then she has had
about 4 boyfriends. Just recently she called me and asked my advice about her current boyfriend. My advice was dump him! She did.
A couple of days after that we went to an amusement park and had fun and acted like a couple. On the way home I just decided that I was gonna tell her exactly how I felt about her. I told her that I have liked her since the first time I met her and that I wanted to be with her but every time I got the guts to say something she was just breaking up with another guy.
Then this was her exact words, “I’ve liked you for so long, even when I was with Chad I liked you but it felt weird because you were his friend. I am so glad you told me how you feel.” I was like oh thank god, after 2 years of wondering I finally learned that she feels the same.
Anyway here’s the problem: she’s not calling me anymore. What should I say or do next? I didn’t plan this far ahead. It doesn’t seem like she is trying to keep the ball rolling. She is a passive person, but if she says the same how come she is not trying to help me out.
You’re basically asking me two questions. The answer to the first one is pretty obvious. But the answer to the second one, once you
understand it, will affect most of your future relationships, both personal and professional.
But before I get into that, my question for you is why waste two years waiting to tell someone you’re attracted to them? That’s two
years you could have either been together or invested in someone else. Since you’re 20, that’s basically one tenth of your life you’ve wasted because of fear of rejection.
There are several easy to learn, proven techniques to help you conquer your fear of rejection but let’s get on to your first question, which is: Now that you’ve told her how you feel and she’s responded favorably, what do you do?
The answer is simple: Call her and ask her out for a date. She’s already told you she wants to go out with you so you know the answer will be yes.
Your second question takes some explaining: Now that she’s not calling you, what should you do?
Let’s look at why she’s not calling you. Assuming you haven’t done anything to make her angry she’s probably not calling you because of a major shift in your relationship and her definition of what constitutes proper behavior for each. You were friends. Now you’re potential girlfriend/boyfriend.
It looks like she stopped treating you like a friend and is now treating you like a boyfriend. Bosses who marry their secretaries
go through this, too, when the secretary stops acting like a secretary and starts acting like a wife. The boss doesn’t understand why she suddenly acts differently.
Your lady friend doesn’t have any barriers to calling friends, male or female. But she seems to have barriers to calling boyfriends. I say this because you said she was a passive person.
So what do you do? Talk with her about it. Ask her why she doesn’t call you anymore. Then ask her if she has any problems calling
boyfriends. If she does have problems calling boyfriends and it’s important that she calls you, tell her so and ask her what you can do to help her get over this problem.
Three things will happen: First, it will boost your confidence with women. Second, it will improve your relationship with her. And Third, it will polish your communication skills.
Good luck and God Bless.
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