The Redfield System: What I Learned Working at Chippendales

I was shy, insecure, and struggling with women just like you when I took a job at one of the hottest clubs in L.A. I had very little self-confidence. I had no idea of what to say or do to make myself look good and get her to take me as a serious dating prospect.

So when I first started working at Chippendales I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven.

As a cocktail waiter, I was responsible for serving thirty women each night; women who paid to get in the room and watch men dance to music and take off their clothes in as sexy a manner as they could without going fully nude.

After a few drinks and a few male strippers’ performances, all the women’s inhibitions went out the window. They threw sex at me. I didn’t even have to ask for it.

In fact, the more passive I was, the more they liked it. They loved being aggressive. It was a complete role reversal. I heard every pickup line in the book. I heard pickup lines that aren’t in the book.

They tried every game, trick, and manipulation ploy they could think of or that had ever been used on them to get into my pants.

I was very cooperative.

As I said, I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven.

That was the first month.

Then reality sank in.

During the second month, I wanted more than just sex from a woman. They didn’t. I tried everything I could think of to create a romantic relationship with them that lasted more than a one-night stand or a few get-togethers based on sex. Again, they didn’t.

No matter what I said or did I couldn’t get them past seeing me as just a hookup.

By month three I was frustrated.

By month four I was depressed and stopped trying.

By month five I was fed up.

I journaled every day while I worked at Chippendales. I wrote down everything I was going through, trying to make sense of it and understand what was going on. This is where my background in psychology became so important because it helped me a lot.

I wrote out all my feelings, problems, and frustrations. I was having so much fun the first month and a half. What happened??? Why couldn’t I keep doing it??? What was wrong with just having a relationship based on sex?

It got to the point that after every one-night stand or a short-term relationship based on sex I got really depressed and lonely. I was confused and didn’t know why. It got so bad the depression and loneliness were driving me crazy because it was so overpowering. I wanted to stop getting hurt, used, and taken advantage of. But I didn’t know how.

Heaven had become Hell really fast.

While I worked there I talked with 27 other cocktail waiters. I quickly found out they were suffering from the exact same frustration, pain, and loneliness from short-term sex that I was going through. It was the exact same process. So I knew my situation wasn’t unique. All of us were going through it. It was a process that started from the night we started working there until we ultimately couldn’t take it anymore and quit. It was emotionally devastating.

Every one of us had the same experience: the first month was a complete and utter fantasy land.

Then reality sank in and we all went through The Five Stages Of Acceptance:

1) Shock and denial. “I can’t believe she doesn’t want to get to know me and that all she wants is sex!”

2) Anger. “Why not??? I’m a good person.”

3) Bargaining. “If I could only explain who I am to her then she would understand and want to get to know me.”

4) Depression. “No matter what I say or do all she wants is sex.”

And finally 5) Acceptance. “There’s nothing I can say or do that will show a woman who just wants sex that we can have more fun if we get to know each other.”

Once we reached Acceptance we all quit because we just couldn’t take it anymore and we realized we were wasting our time trying to show these women we had more to offer than just sex.

The length of time and the number of women we all had to go through before we reached the Acceptance stage was different for each of us. We all learned in our own way and in our own time. But we all ultimately reached it because we’d run out of other options and excuses.

I discovered we all wanted the exact same things from a woman in a romantic relationship even though we didn’t know it when we first started working at Chippendales:

We all wanted and needed to be loved, cared for, understood, and accepted unconditionally on all levels mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sexually. We finally realized, understood, and accepted that was the only way to end our loneliness, stop all the pain and be truly happy.

But first, we all had to have it crammed down our throats that a relationship based on sex cannot last because the other parts of us were starving to death.

I was lost, scared, confused, and depressed. I was frustrated and incredibly lonely, too.

At the end of my sixth month I talked with the manager. I told him I was quitting. He asked me why. I told him the truth. I told him that I couldn’t take it anymore.

He laughed and said, “Every single cocktail waiter and bartender says the exact same thing when they quit so I understand. If you ever want to come back you’re welcome to.” I asked him how many guys have come back. He smiled and said, “No one. It seems once they outgrow one-night stands and short-term sex they outgrow it for life so they don’t need to come back.” We shook hands and parted as friends.

I never went back either.

What an incredible lesson I learned. I discovered why you can’t base a romantic relationship on sex. So did every guy that worked at Chippendales.

This discovery handed me The Secret Golden Keys on How To Succeed With A Quality Woman In A Romantic Relationship on a silver platter. At the time I had no idea how critically important that information was. But I’d find out soon enough. And so will you!

In my next job as a bartender, I was a man on a mission. Actually, I was a man obsessed. I was obsessed with finding out how to get all my needs, wants, and desires satisfied in a romantic relationship with a quality woman without getting hurt, used, or taken advantage of.

I wanted to know what works, what doesn’t and why. And I wanted proof from the real world. Not a bunch of hype that looks good on paper but just makes you look stupid in the real world.

I already knew the pickup lines, the games, the tricks, the manipulation ploys, the Inner Mind Games, and all that other kid stuff didn’t work in the real world. I found that out at Chippendales because it was all used on the other waiters and me.

I was ready to find out how to establish a romantic relationship with a quality woman. And I was in the perfect place to find out because I was a bartender in one of Hollywood’s busiest and hottest bars in town.

I had a front row, center seat every night because it all happened three feet in front of me on the other side of the bar. It was easily the best seat in the house.

At first, I just watched and listened.

I was in shock because I saw and heard it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I saw men approaching women, women approaching men, and everything in between. I saw and heard everything. I watched and heard entire conversations from beginning to end. It was almost like seeing a scene in a movie except this was the real world. I studied everything and took notes, lots of them.

I watched guys fail miserably. Again, I saw and heard every pickup line, game, trick, manipulation ploy, and Inner Mind Game in the book. It was like I was back at Chippendales again except I was a spectator, not a participant. Because I was a spectator and the bartender, I wasn’t a threat– so they were themselves around me. They let me watch and listen all I wanted. And I did.

I studied what the men and women wore. I studied what the women that were getting a lot of attention wore as well as what the women who weren’t getting much attention wore. That’s where I learned another golden key to succeeding with quality women. I’ll tell you what it is in a moment.

I watched the kind of attention they got and the quality of the attention they got. I noticed the women that dressed really sexy weren’t looking for sex. Rather, they were looking for a good time at someone else’s expense.

After a while, from just standing there three feet away and watching and listening to entire conversations from beginning to end and how it all played out, I realized that men and women fall into one of Three Distinct Groups.

Group One. 

This Group consists of the boys pretending to be men and the girls pretending to be women. They were under 30 with a few slow learners in their thirties and some really slow learners in their forties.

The guys in Group One just want to get laid. They studied all the speed seduction courses that list all the best pickup lines, games, tricks, manipulation techniques, and Inner Mind Games of the day.

The gals in Group One just want to have fun and be entertained… on his nickel. She knows the only thing guys want is sex so she dresses as sexually revealing as she knows how. She shows as much skin as she can. And she’s as much of a sex object and tease as she can be. She flirts with every guy in the room.

Here’s how the basic scene plays out with very few variations or exceptions:

Mr. Stud walks over to a cute girl cold (unannounced and uninvited). He uses the “latest” pickup line. He thinks he’s really cool. He’s all set with his “internal script” and his Inner Mind Game that he’s learned from some “expert pick-up artist” that knows less than he does (only he doesn’t realize that at the time). He studies her while he figures out which game, trick or manipulation technique he thinks will work best on her.

Once he opens his mouth a voice goes off in her head. It says, “Oh boy! I’m about to get a free drink!”

She doesn’t care what pickup line he uses. She doesn’t even have to listen to it because she knows exactly what to do: She acts as sexy as she knows how. She smiles her best sexy smile and flirts to the best of her ability. She does everything she can to turn him on.

Then the first words out of her mouth are, “Do you want to buy me a drink?”

She didn’t even listen to his “clever” pickup line because it didn’t matter. She’s just telling him right up front, bluntly, “If you want to talk to me then you have to pay for it. And if you don’t that’s okay because there are three guys behind you that will.”

He’s talked himself into believing he’s going to get lucky. But at the end of the night, he finds out the hard way that she never wanted sex. She just wanted to have a good time at someone else’s expense. She came with her girlfriends and she left with her girlfriends. She doesn’t care that at the end of the night the guy figured out he’d been used because there was an endless supply of guys for the next night.

The guys were too horny and too stupid to realize it didn’t matter what pickup line, game, trick, manipulation ploy, or speed seduction technique they used. They all work until after she gets her free drinks. Then she plays hard to get.

I know because in my fourteen years as a bartender in Hollywood I’ve seen and heard it all played out this way thousands of times three feet in front of me.

The guys and gals in Group One always ended up with each other. That’s because no one else would waste their time on them.

I’ve talked to thousands of gals in Group One to get their drink order. After talking to them for just 20 seconds I know they’re as deep as a puddle, it’s all false advertising and they’re a complete waste of time so I just serve them their drink and walk away.

Group Two. 

Everyone eventually outgrows Group One and gets thrown into Group Two. There’s no way to resist it and there’s nothing they can do about it. It doesn’t matter who they are or how nice they are. Their age, physical appearance, and background mean nothing. It doesn’t matter how intelligent they are or how much money they have either.

Their entrance begins when they finally start getting lonely. That’s the key: They start getting lonely. That’s never happened to them before so they don’t know how to deal with it. They all try doing more of what worked when they were in Group One… but it doesn’t work anymore.

Based on the results, the guys in Group Two are forced against their will to accept that all the pickup lines, games, tricks, speed seduction techniques, Inner Mind Games, and all that other kid stuff doesn’t work and is a complete waste of time. In fact, just makes them look stupid to all the quality women who avoid them like the plague.

Based on results the gals in Group Two are forced against their will to accept the only thing being a sex tease gets them is guys that want to get laid. In fact, a quality man won’t waste his time because he knows it’s all false advertising so they avoid these gals like the plague, too.

All the guys and gals in Group Two have completely outgrown Group One because it didn’t resolve their loneliness and was no longer fun. It left them frustrated, hurt, depressed, and very lonely. Everyone fights against being in Group Two. No one wins the battle.

Eventually, the smart ones realize, understand, and accept nothing that worked before in Group One works now and move on wiser men and women but they’re still stuck in Group Two.

The slow learners in Group Two? They drink more alcohol, take more recreational drugs, and have more recreational sex until they’re eventually forced to accept that it won’t resolve their loneliness. That’s because once the alcohol and drugs wear off and they wake up next to a complete stranger they just feel worse and lonelier than they did before.

The really slow learners become sex addicts, alcoholics, and drug addicts but that’s another story.

How long they stay in Group Two is entirely up to them and no one else.

Everyone in Group Two struggles and fumbles their way forward. They found out the hard way what doesn’t work but they don’t know what to do in place of it. They need help and they know it. They’re finally ready and willing to listen but they have no one to go to that has answers that really resolve their loneliness. The men and women in Group Two were about to become really important to me. In fact, they were going to be worth their weight in gold. You’ll find out why in a moment.

Group Three is a special Group.

Group Three consists of the quality men and quality women who knew what they wanted in a romantic relationship. They’d learned from experience what didn’t work. They refused to play games or have games used on them. You got one shot with them. If you blew it you blew it for good.

They were the real deal, the genuine article. You can’t fake being in Group Three any more than you can fake speaking French if you don’t know how.

Everyone in Group Three knew the Golden Key was finding a positive, healthy, constructive way to end their loneliness.

Some of them had some of the answers but not all of them. Some of them had all the answers and figured out how to get them.

Regardless of where they were in Group Three, they all got those answers the hard way: From the School Of Hard Knocks through trial and error.

Now they were all looking for what worked. They were all actively looking for someone to get involved with everywhere they went. That’s one of the reasons why they went where they went.

The goal of everyone in Group Three was to be in a loving romantic relationship where sex is a positive, healthy, constructive part of it.

The men and women in this Group behaved and dressed completely differently than the other two Groups. They drank very little alcohol and rarely, if ever, did recreational drugs because they’d learned it’s a dead end.

Most of them were shy and introverted (surprise!) because they learned being overly aggressive didn’t work. It didn’t get them what they wanted. They just sat and watched. Then they slowly and cautiously made their move.

Most of them were into self-help because they’d learned the fastest way to solve any problem was to study under someone who had experienced that problem and solved it. They knew it saved a lot of time, money, mistakes, and pain.

The quality women in Group Three never dressed for sex because that wasn’t what they were looking for. They know, from experience, that sex and sex alone won’t take away their loneliness. That’s why if you approach a quality woman looking for sex you will fail one hundred percent of the time. That, again, is why all the pickup lines, games, and tricks don’t work and just make you look stupid.

No one gets thrown into Group Three. No one gets there by accident. Everyone wants to be in Group Three but getting into it isn’t free. It’s very expensive. Most people aren’t willing to pay the price. That’s why most people are so miserable and lonely.

The cost to get into Group Three? Money won’t help you.

When I served a man or a woman I knew instantly what Group they were in and how far along they were in it. When you know what to look for you can’t miss it. It’s all revealed by their attitude, their wardrobe, what they drink and what they talk about.

The people in Group One were pretty shallow.

The people in Group Two were lost, lonely and depressed and didn’t know what to do about it. They were looking for answers but didn’t know what questions to ask or who to go to for help that actually knew what he was talking about.

But talking with the quality men and women in Group Three was a completely different conversation. They were all sincerely friendly and wanted to talk if I was interested. They all asked me how I was doing and they meant it. I asked all of them how they were doing and I meant it.

They quickly became my regular customers and my friends on slow nights. We had an excellent time together. It was always good to see them and they were always happy to see me. That’s why they came in when I was there. Sometimes they wanted to talk out a problem and we did. Sometimes they just wanted to relax and have a good time and they did.

Then something magical happened that changed my life… and theirs… permanently because we all had a major breakthrough. Here’s what happened:

When I served a woman in Group Three I’d get her drink order and come back with her drink. I’d collect for it and give her the change.

Then we did normal everyday small talk.

She casually asked me where I worked before I worked here and I told her I’d worked at Chippendales.

Suddenly I had her full attention. She wanted to know what it was like.

When I told her honestly what it was really like and the Five Stages of Acceptance all of the other twenty seven waiters and I went through she was riveted to every word I said.

I told her the truth about what we went through: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I told her how much fun we all had in the beginning. Then I told her how we all got so lonely from all the one-night stands and short-term relationships based on sex and nothing more that we couldn’t take it anymore so we had to quit.

I told her we all eventually realized the problem with short-term sex was that the rest of us was starving to death mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I said it got really boring waking up next to a complete stranger over and over again. Then it got so painful from the loneliness we just couldn’t do it anymore.

I told her we all eventually realized, understood, and accepted that what we really wanted, needed, and desired was to be in a positive, healthy, constructive romantic relationship with a woman where we were loved, cared for, understood, and accepted unconditionally on all levels mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually.

Every quality woman I told that story to sat there stunned. Most of the women said they’d never heard it said so well.

Then each one of them, without exception, said that was exactly what they went through. Then they all said that was exactly the kind of romantic relationship they wanted, too, but they weren’t quite sure how to establish it.

We both went into absolute shock when we realized men wanted the exact same things women wanted and women wanted the exact same thing men wanted.

After we talked about Chippendales then the quality women opened up to me completely letting me know what was working for them and what wasn’t. And I took notes– lots of them.

They wanted my help and I wanted theirs. It was the perfect situation… for both of us.

When I served a man in Group Three I started doing the same thing I did with the women in Group Three:

I’d get his drink order, make it, collect and give him his change.

Then we did routine small talk.

Then I told him about my conversations with the women in Group Three.

He’d sit there riveted to his seat, too. Then he eagerly asked me questions and I gladly told him what I’d learned.

They were thrilled they’d finally found someone who understood exactly what problems and frustrations they were going through. They were excited they’d finally found someone they could talk openly and honestly with about their problems and ask questions to get my honest feedback.

With them, just like with the women, everything revolved around ending their loneliness in a positive, healthy, constructive, stress-free way by being in a romantic relationship with a woman where sex was a part of it but not all of it. So they poured their hearts out to me. And my education intensified.

Word spread fast. Over the next several months I talked intimately with 102 quality women and 109 quality men.

That’s when my education, and theirs, really began. It was magical. I was getting everything straight from the men and women who had the real answers as to what worked, what didn’t, and why. And I shared what I’d learned with them too. So we helped each other. It was a win-win situation for all of us.

I asked them if there were any limits on what I could ask them or what we could talk about. Without exception, all of them smiled and said, “Absolutely not! I want your help, too. And if I can’t talk openly and honestly then there’s no point in asking anything.”

The men eagerly gave me questions to ask the women and the women eagerly gave me questions to ask the men. I took notes on everything.

The quality men and women wanted to help each other. Suddenly we were all on the same side. It wasn’t the men on one side and the women on the other like it usually is. We were all working together as friends. Like I said, it was magical.

After talking everything out with them we all realized we needed to test the whole process out with men and women who knew absolutely nothing and were desperate for help because they would be willing to listen and test everything. They wouldn’t be testing it for us. They would be testing it for themselves. And that made them the perfect students.

We all knew if it worked for them then it would work for anyone regardless of their age, physical appearance, or background as long as they had a sincere desire to create a romantic relationship with someone that would make them both truly happy. And we knew it would work anywhere, anytime, and anyplace, not just in a bar.

We had the complete System. Now all we needed was proof it worked.

Remember the men and women in Group Two and how I said they were about to become worth their weight in gold?

When I told my Group Three friends about the men and women in Group Two we all realized I was in the best position to get everything tested because I had unlimited access to all the men and women in Group Two.

We all agreed that was the perfect place to test, polish and perfect everything because the people in Group Two knew absolutely nothing and they were desperate for help. We all knew if we could get the Dating System to work for them then we had something life-changing.

Here’s how it worked.

Every night several men and women came into the bar asking for my advice on a dating problem they were having. This was Hollywood so everyone in the human race came in.

Their questions covered everything from what to wear, how to break the ice, what to say, how to say it, what to do, and how to do it. You name it, we talked about it in detail.

When a man or woman in Group Two came to me with a specific dating problem I gave them the tip or technique I’d gotten from the quality men and women in Group Three.

They went out and tested it and came back to me with their results.

Then the men and women in Group Two and Three and I worked together and polished and perfected each tip and each technique until it worked for any man or woman who had a sincere desire to establish a fun and casual or a long-lasting and loving romantic relationship with someone that would make them both happy.

Here are the Golden Keys we uncovered. They were all tested hundreds of times, polished hundreds of times, and proven hundreds of times until they worked for any man regardless of his age, physical appearance, and background. And they work anywhere, anytime, anyplace, not just in a bar.

I invite you to start using them today when you see a woman you’re attracted to and want to meet so you can prove to yourself they work.

1.) Quality women don’t go anywhere looking for sex because they know it won’t resolve their loneliness. They’re looking for a fun and casual or a long-lasting romantic relationship based on friendship they can add sex to. So if you approach her looking for sex or use a pickup line on her you will fail one hundred percent of the time. Quality women went through the exact same thing I went through at Chippendales so if all you want is sex they can spot it before you even open your mouth. You can’t fool them so don’t try. That’s why all the pickup artists’ stuff is worthless garbage.

2.) I asked the 102 quality women in Group Three: What’s the first thing you notice about a man you’re not attracted to. The number one answer was his attitude and his personality. That means with the wrong attitude and a bad personality you will have ruined any and all chances you’ll ever have with a quality woman before you even open your mouth.

3.) So when you first meet a woman what is the best attitude and personality to have? You approach her and talk with her like a potential friend and you leave sex out of it. It will instantly give you a pleasing attitude and personality that’s perfect for meeting her.

4.) When you first meet a woman you’re attracted to, what is the most effective way to start a conversation?

The 102 women were asked, “What do you wish more men knew about women?” The top three answers were: 1) I want to be treated with respect. 2) I want to be treated like a lady. And 3) There’s more to me than body parts.

There is only one thing you can say to a woman when you first meet her that satisfies all three of those requirements. It is, quite simply, a warm and friendly, “Hi.” Anything you say before or in place of “Hi” will be a pickup line and it will completely turn her off.

5.) Why is saying a warm friendly “Hi” so effective? Because you’re treating her with respect, you’re treating her like a lady, you’re acknowledging that she’s more than body parts and you’re giving her a choice and a chance to say, “I’d like to continue this conversation” or “Thanks, but I’m not interested.” It’s the perfect thing to say because it isn’t a pickup line. Rather, it’s an opening line. It opens the possibility of having a conversation with her.

6.) The reason why all the pickup lines, games, tricks, manipulation ploys, and Inner Mind Games are completely worthless is that they block any and all chances of establishing an intimate romantic relationship with someone. I guarantee every single quality man and quality woman knows this by heart.

7.) Sex and sex alone will never resolve your loneliness or depression for more than one night. Then when they resurface (and they always do) it will be worse than before because the other parts of you are starving to death. When the loneliness resurfaces it will be worse than before… The men and women in Group Two are lonely and depressed but they don’t know why so they don’t know what to do about it. But the quality men and women in Group Three know it’s because the rest of them starving to death and they are actively looking for a romantic relationship that will give it to them.

8.) Quality women don’t care if you’re nervous, awkward, tongue-tied and not sure of what to say. Let me prove it to you: If a woman you were attracted to approached you and she was nervous, shy, awkward, and didn’t know what to say would it bother you? Of course not. It won’t bother a quality woman either. In fact, she would prefer you were nervous rather than putting up some false front of someone you’re not.

9.) Why does this Dating System work so well for shy, introverted men? Let the quality women from Group 3 tell you: “I prefer shy, introverted men because they’re not threatening or overbearing. The aggressive guys are too pushy. It instantly puts me on the defensive and it makes me feel uncomfortable.” That’s straight from the mouths of the women you want to date. What more proof do you need that being shy and introverted works for you, not against you?

These Golden Keys will give you an excellent start with establishing a romantic relationship with a quality woman in your town that’s eager to go out with you.

What about all the other Golden Keys? Things like:

What are the 5 steps that have to happen before I say “Hi” that give me a 98.3% chance of success with every quality woman I approach?

What do I say after I say hello?

How do I ask her out?

How do I get her phone number?

How do I handle the first phone call?

The second phone call?

Of the 4 Types of clothing, which style will make me look my best and feel the most relaxed?

What do I do on the first date?

The second date?

What are the Classic Mistakes most men make without even knowing it that I need to avoid?

And how do I do all these things using Class, Style, and Dignity without compromising my Self-Respect or my Integrity?

If you’d like all of the rest of the Golden Keys and the answers to all of these questions… and every single other question you have about finding, attracting, meeting, talking with, asking out, and dating a quality woman in your town that’s eager to go out with you… then you might find everything else the men and women in Groups Two and Three uncovered, tested, polished, and proved works in the real world helpful.

It’s all here in this Complete Home Study Course you can access instantly online anytime you want.

Will you be able to get any woman you want? Of course not. Only a liar would claim that and only a fool would believe it. What you will get is a romantic relationship with a quality woman who’s eager to make you happy.

If you’re serious about becoming a quality man in Group Three that the quality women in Group Three actively chase,

If you have a burning desire to resolve your loneliness and depression once and for all in a positive, healthy, constructive, stress-free way,

If you long for a successful romantic relationship with a quality woman that will eagerly make you both happy on all levels mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sexually,

Then I suggest you check this out because in The Redfield System you’re going to discover concepts, ideas, and whole chapters that have never been written about or talked about before.

This course is specifically designed for the man in Group Two that wants to get into Group Three quickly with as little pain as possible and for the man in Group Three that has some of the answers but not all of them and wants to get the rest of them fast so he can save valuable time in setting up the relationship he wants.

It comes with an Unconditional Lifetime Money Back Guarantee so if it doesn’t work for you then all you’ve lost is a little bit of your time. I’ll even let you keep the course as my way of saying thank you for giving me a chance to make you happy for the rest of your life.

But don’t take too long because the quality women in your town that are actively looking for you will just go find someone else.